I was born into a chaotic household, and at a young age, and thought that it was normal. As a child growing up there was a lot of screaming and yelling coming from my parents and cops would show up randomly to break up these scuffles. I thought this was normal and didn’t know any better. As I got older I always had outlets to turn to like sports and art. I was also into extreme sports like skateboarding to express myself in that way. As a young kid, I always had this weird anxiety about my surroundings and never being able to fit in with the crowds. I would be in a large group of friends but deep down would feel alone in a crowd. So early on I felt a huge void that I always needed to fill. My dad was always being kicked out of the house, my mom and I really didn’t understand what was going on and felt like it was my fault that this was happening. This was early on in my life so I didn’t know better or what the reason was for my dad to be gone for long periods of time. He was in and out of jail and for some reason, I thought I was the cause. This was all going on when I was in elementary school.

The kids at this time knew my family to be ‘the dysfunctional family’ and kids were not allowed to be anywhere near my brother or myself. I have a younger brother that’s very close in age. We were very close because we were all we had. Once we hit middle school everything changed for the better. I started to become popular with the kids and skateboarding was the outlet that I really dove into.

Around 13 years old is when everything started to shift for the worst. I remember going into 9th grade and 911 occurred. I was always fearful of whatever was going on with the news and people worrying about terrorist attacks. That’s when I really started looking for the wrong outlets and alcohol and drugs came into play. I started to drink heavily in high school. I was playing baseball for the high school I was attending and was always drunk or high on drugs. When I started drinking it made me feel a certain way where I felt like I could do anything. My friends were very concerned and I brushed it off like it was no big deal. My mom was over the top concerned and didn’t know how to handle the situation. My brother also was ditching school every day.

I started to drink with my dad and I remember the feeling of being so cool drinking with my father. Soon after that hard drugs came into play. I was hooked into a tornado of hell. To cut to the chase, I was using crack cocaine with my father and I couldn’t stop. I was kicked out of high school and we moved to another city to relocate.

I went into my mother’s room when I was 18 years old and explained what was going on behind the scenes with my dad. Her reaction was automatic denial and didn’t want to believe what she had just heard. I had no idea how to get out of the situation I was in so I left and went to rehab to get clean.

This type of lifestyle would go on well into my 20s. I had this huge resentment towards my father and would blame him for the drugs and everything that went down as a teenager.  I was homeless for a good chunk of my 20s. I had been to rehab 35 times and was in this insane pattern of using and getting some clean time in between.

Somehow I got into a relationship with a girl who really wanted to fix me and change me for the better but that didn’t happen. I had a beautiful little baby girl with her and I thought that would fix everything and I would clean up and stop the drugging. It didn’t and I once again was in another rehab facility trying it again. One night a tech from the rehab I was in came into my room to tell me that there was an emergency with my mom. My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and my heart dropped into my stomach.

When I was 23 my mom moved to North Carolina from Los Angeles when she retired. She literally left Los Angeles to get away from all of the chaos. To have a peaceful life, and start fresh. When she arrived in North Carolina she collapsed at the airport and was put in the ICU. My mother fought this type of cancer for 2 years but sadly passed away. All I wanted to do was stay clean and sober and be able to take care of her but I couldn’t.

Before all of this happened, she had given me a book called The Secret, and I read it from beginning to end. I will say this, I felt a shift but I couldn’t really understand how to use what was written in that book. I just wanted something to change or fix the situation I was in and nothing could do that.

My brother and I were in her hospital room and she couldn’t speak or move. We said our goodbyes and left the hospital. My brother, dad, and I were all living in her house after she passed and went into survival mode. The bank eventually took the house she had bought and we were forced to leave and go back to Los Angeles. When we arrived, we were immediately homeless. This would go on for about a year and a half. We had lost everything.

I was laying on the ground in this park that we were living in thinking how are we going to get out of this situation? I called a rehab nearby. They had a waiting list and I called every day for about 2 months until they let me in. I left my brother on the streets to change, and I will say that was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I got into rehab and stayed for 9 months. They had this group about The Secret and I joined. I would go over the whole manifestation process and learned a lot about how we create our reality. The reality I had created was full of chaos and drama. The life I was living was a hell I created with my thoughts. For the longest time, I would blame my dad and the whole situation of being introduced to crack. I know today in a weird way I created that. I attracted that situation into my life. Somehow, all of the situations I was in were created through my thoughts.

Today I have completely transformed my reality into an abundant, loving, reality where everyone wants to see me succeed. I completely turned my life around and my brother also came around full circle. Today my brother and I are clean and sober and I now fully understand how life works and how we create our reality through our thoughts.

Every day I meditate three times a day to raise my vibration. I really feel gratitude daily. I had a crazy upbringing but I would replay that in my mind and it would keep replaying it in the future. I really had to rewrite my brain with meditation and affirmations.

Now I live in an apartment that I pay for, with a beautiful girlfriend who loves me dearly. I have an amazing career in the film industry and have a 6 figure income. I also am in my daughter’s life and I’m always there for her. It wasn’t like that at the beginning of her life. I always had this thought that I’m not going to be like my dad but the Universe delivered that constantly. The more I brought that up in my mind, the more it would become a reality.

Today is insanely different from where I used to be. I’m 36 today and free from drugs and alcohol. The life I live today is about helping someone else and always being in a giving state of mind. That’s my purpose, to help someone else. I’m here to tell you it is all about the way you think and feel. I don’t let my past dictate my future anymore. I’ve let it go. My vibration is lifted daily through my thoughts and actions. You can transform your life, and I’m living proof.

Much love!