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The One That Almost Got Away.
Submitted by: Paul K.
DC, VirginiaA hopeful young entrepreneur from the DC area.
After reading dozens upon dozens of stories on here, I finally get to write my own! I am blessed and thankful for the invaluable knowledge and resources shared by Rhonda. I want to say to everyone who might stumble across this that no matter how bad things look, there is always hope!
I’ve remained vaguely aware of the law of attraction but I didn’t really put it into practice. Ego or worry would often creep into my consciousness, and so even though I could ‘talk the talk,’ I wasn’t ‘walking the walk’ because the skeptical side of me would always overthink things in order to control the outcome.
Two years ago, my best friend and I, whom I had met eight years ago as of the time of this writing, became so close that one night, we let our passion take over and rocketed out of the ‘FriendZone.’ Very early, we knew how much we loved each other, but in our hot and heavy race to get married, we rushed the relationship a little too fast because we assumed we did all the heavy lifting during our friendship. We both switched our lives around and put a lot of unnecessary strain on the relationship by being too fixated on the future and I started to fall into some old habits that ruined my previous long-term relationship.
Given the fact that I already loved this woman as a friend, nowhere in my mind could I imagine a day without her, especially now that we saw each other as a couple. Blinded by my own goals, I neglected myself and her by getting fixated on emotional security, and after we had a big fight in which she decided not to move out of state with me. She told me that she no longer loved me and just wanted a break.
I was heartbroken at first, having been through a bad breakup before, now the woman I loved more than anyone, had, from my perspective, out of the blue, decided that she didn’t want me or us anymore. I wasn’t even sure if she wanted to be in my life at all, even as a friend. Last time this happened I smothered my ex, begged, pleaded, and tried to guilt her into getting back with me but in the end we never spoke again. This time I decided to do things differently and I let her have her space to think, which she said she needed and wanted.
As crazy as my thoughts were and as tempting as it was to jump on her case, I let her be and decided to focus on myself. I started reading up on The Secret, and I started to imagine what I wanted rather than the worst-case scenario. It was difficult, but I would meditate to calm myself and focus on being the best version of me that she fell in love with without the expectation of getting her back. During this time, I reflected on myself and what I was doing to sabotage myself. I was prepared to wait weeks or even months for any kind of result, if at all. But then she told me a week ahead of when she said she would get back to me that she wanted to go back to being friends if I was willing. I wasn’t satisfied with this, but by staying in the moment, I was able to think of a suggestion that we go back to the way things were in the beginning; no pressure on either of us to move in together, just enjoying each other’s presence whenever we got to see each other. Resigned to losing her forever, she surprisingly agreed, but with the caveat that she still didn’t love me anymore and wanted to do her own thing.
I still loved her, but I let it go and didn’t try to force her to love me. I just kept doing my thing, focusing on feelings of gratitude and what it felt like to be with her. I visualized scenarios in which she would fall back in love with me.
We would continue to talk and text, keeping things casual, and I relinquished all expectations, prepared for her to change her mind and go our separate ways, but instead, the opposite happened. Just like I had hoped and visualized, she started to feel something for me again. I noticed she started calling me “baby” again until one day, after a long video chat, she texted that she was falling in love with me! I was so elated, surprised, and perplexed that it didn’t hit me until the next day that the Universe had brought the love of my life back. Without me having to contact her first, she randomly texted and talked to me and now talks about future plans to visit me and show affection. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
No matter how bad it looks, you can always win your love back with the right motivation, focus, gratitude, and energy. Given my past, this was a personal miracle for me. I was prepared to lose her, but now it looks like we’re rekindling our friendship and relationship in one fell swoop much faster than I could’ve hoped for. So far, so good, only this time, I won’t forget gratitude! I won’t forget The Secret! Thank you, thank you, thank you!