Relationships had always been an incredibly difficult subject in my life. I had suffered very turbulent relationships at home, running away when I was 16 to start my own life. I believed that by running away from the problems, I would find the template for success in becoming a happy and well-adjusted human being. Well, of course, all that happened was that I took my dysfunctional template with me for miles, and no matter where I ran to, I could never relieve myself of the pain and discomfort of distorted methods of relating to my partners I had learned from my parents.

I tumbled from one disastrous relationship to another, making the best of 6 months or so a pleasant emotional ebb. Then the turbulence would surface, the rage would boil up, and the arguments would ensue. Some involved violence toward me, and some involved verbal rage toward them. Some involved the loss of babies, and some involved the loss and mourning of a love I believed I had but, in truth, had never really experienced.

I felt trapped in a cycle of constant failure, running from my fears and lamenting my inability to relate in a healthy, adult, and reasonable manner.

On the quest for a better life, I discovered The Secret and The Magic. I realized that all of the things I had been looking outside of myself for and clinging to when I found them were only manifestations of the tumult and turmoil inside of me. I realized that until I changed within myself, I would not profit from a better reflection of my inner state of being.

The information came to me at a time when I felt I had found “the one,” the person I had always imagined I could spend my life with. I was in a far more settled place, and seemingly, all was cued up to herald the beginning of a new era in my relationships.

However, the relationship was filled with obstacles that I told myself I could overcome to keep this person in my life, but when a trigger from my past suddenly occurred in the relationship, the patterns and cycles of dysfunction boiled up in one almighty outburst of verbal rage. I had lost another pregnancy, and the person I was with was miles away, unable to return to be by my side.

I felt so angry and resentful. I couldn’t breathe. The rage was so bilious and bitter, and I wanted him to hurt in the same way as me. My words were like daggers, and in one ill-considered outburst, I had injured the love we had worked to build together.

I could not possibly concede defeat at this experience and, remembering The Secret, I stopped and realised that my inner state was creating my outer experience. I grabbed The Magic and immediately began practicing my gratitude. Gratitude for everything good in my life, gratitude to turn my mistakes into blessings, gratitude to heal that broken relationship.

I was awash with thanks and a feeling that, no matter what, everything would be OK. I was so overcome with the desire to do things differently this time and change all of the patterns from the past.

The power of gratitude is immense, and it has the capacity to reveal aspects of ourselves that cannot be revealed by any other means. It is only in gratitude that we realize our depth, for how deeply we thank demonstrates how deeply we are connected to our souls, our emotions, and our determination to become better and better and to live a magical life of bliss and delight.

While I do not know whether this relationship will recover its former loving glory, we have certainly recovered our friendship. I do know that no matter what, no matter who I relate to, I will never ever allow gratitude to leave the abiding place of my soul when I choose to love again.

Rhonda, you are amazing. I want to thank you for being a maverick and for blazing a trail of healing, showing us all that we can overcome our programming and that our freedom to be, do, and have anything we wish is only a thank you away.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!